Mupkin

We carved pumpkins tonight and the dog was simply fascinated.

We feed her regularly, I promise!

Jack-o-Lanterns

Maui Photos

The View from our Hotel Balcony

Tour de Tropical Fleurs

Hangin' Ten

Buddah Stop

Wind Surfers

Bubba Gump

Luau Love

Hula Baby

Baking Like a Brownie in Maui

Today I will be sitting by the pool all day.

We leave tomorrow night, so this is my day to bake. I have applied my SPF and soon we'll walk down to the coffee shack for our iced coconut lattes and a cwassant. Then it's me and the pool and my pink ipod and my (dumb) book until I die of boredom, or the sun goes down, whichever comes first.

I am sooo tired of relaxing! I want to play beach soccer. I want do something.

I think we're renting jetskis today.

Maybe I'll plan our next trip and we'll go to Costa Rica. Or I'll finally take that trip to Tibet I've been intending to go on. Or someone could shoot me out of a rocket and I could chill on the moon for a bit.

Maui Some More

I just polished off some coconut French toast and it was good.

To make it at home, get some condensed coconut milk and mix it in your egg batter. Use Hawaiian, or a thick sweet bread. When the french toast is on your plate, top it with grated coconut, macadamia nut butter and pineapple syrup. Sip some pineapple juice with it.

Luau

Last night we went to our luau and it was pretty cool. B hates anything buffet-like and there was a food line. However, he faced it like a man and we had some (surprisingly grub) pulled pork, mahi, beef, ahi etc.

Dinner

After all 500 people ate, the show started. It was called "The Drums of the Pacific." It was loud and there was fire and hula girls and hula boys and it was entertaining. However, I feel like I'm exploiting "old Hawaii" as much as "the natives are exploiting it. I'm very conflicted with the whole, "sell your culture for the tourists" thing. I feel the same way in Mexico.

The seats at the luau were arranged like a elementary school cafeteria. There were big, long tables and everyone sat together. There were at least 50 newlyweds and many people, like us, were on their anniversary.

Today there's not a cloud in the sky and we're about to hit the pool.

I've been taking photos, but I forgot the cord at home that connects the camera to the laptop, so I'll add the pics when we get back home.

Hey mom and John, thanks for watching the pets!

Anniversary Bouquet

My mom gave these flowers to us for our annivarsary. She grew them in her garden. My favorites are sunflowers and dahlias.

Maui

So, I wrote a big post and my connection here in the hotel somehow deleted it, which is sad because I wrote a lot of stuff. I'm got going to recreate, but I'll try to remember...

Saturday we left Seattle and came to Maui. We're staying in a big hotel in Lahaina and there are lots of pools, waterfalls, restaurants and palm trees. Yesterday we laid by the pool, went into Lahaina for dinner and, really, not much else. We've both been reading a lot. B is finally catching up on his Harry Potter and I've zipped through 3 books.

Tonight we're going to a luau for our 3 year wedding anniversary. We've never been to a luau and really, we've never felt the need to, but it's happening in our hotel and we thought, what the heck?

It's a tiny bit overcast today, which is nice because it's so hot out. We might rent jet skis. I tried to go surfing yesterday, but the red flags are out and I already got tossed when I went out in the ocean with my cheesy raft. I was all slippery from the sunscreen and I couldn't stay on the raft. And then the waves came and kicked my ass. At that moment, the pool seemed like a really good idea.

I guess I should post this before it gets deleted.

STUPID Romance Novel

I just finished reading a STUPID romance novel.

It was cheesy as hell, boring, cliché and I read it cover to cover! While I was laughing AT the book, I was drawn to it just the same. I know you’re thinking that it was some sort of saucy, sex story, but it wasn’t.

As Avril says, “he was a boy, she was a girl. Can I make it any more obvious?”

So, this girl is an unpublished writer and lives with her hot, male “best friend” in an apartment in New York and they vow to remain “just friends.” Of course they get drunk and have sex; she gets pregnant and doesn’t tell him. He moves out because he doesn’t want to admit he loves her.

Of course her family and lawyer friend tell her that (duh dipshit!) she has to inform the father of her unborn child that she’s having their baby. She does, he tells her he loves her and she insists, for many, many, agonizing chapters that he’s just trying to “do the right thing” and marry her.

Eventually (see “many, many, agonizing chapters” above) she “realizes” that she’s loved him all along and he pops the question. The last sentence of the book is, “they both stared down at her belly and then laughed with joy, love and the promise of things to come.” Seriously! What is this? A second grade fairy tale? I want to puke!

The author over-explains everything and doesn’t give the reader any credit. If you’ve ever taken a writing class they tell you to write as much as you can, with as few words as possible. In other words, get it out there; don’t harp on it… over and over… and over!

An example of over-explaining occurs when the author refers to a Burberry purse and further explains that it “cost at least $500 dollars.” Well, no shit! That’s the point of mentioning that it’s Burberry! Any woman reading this book would know that.

This mind-numbing, pink frosting novel makes me want to draw an outline and punch a book out myself.

But then I think of those books you can get at Barnes and Noble about how to write a novel and become published and that just takes the fun out of it. Knowing that someone wrote a book about writing a book just seems, uh… unmysterious.

Conclusion: Do yourself a favor and avoid “No Strings Attached” by Millie Chriswell.

p.s. To add insult to injury, the writer wrote an "About the Author" in the third person declaring that her granddaughter is "adorable and incredibly intelligent."

If only you could see me now wringing my fist at this woman!!!

X Box and Violent Verbal Outbursts

And now for a little blurb about my man and his X Box.

Whether I’m home to hear it or not, my husband yells at the guys on his X-Box game like they’re real people. He’s like those WWE Wrestlers who yell “I’m gonna rip your eyes out through your neck!”

I have trouble understanding how he can get so irate over a video game. B is an intense guy to begin with; put an X Box controller in his hand and he’s Tiger Woods with the mouth of a sailor.

I view it as negative since he’s so agitated. But he says it’s just good fun. Does everyone get this worked up over video games? The last game I played was Super Mario Brothers on Nintendo, or was it Tetris on a Gameboy?