Tacoma

Last night my brother had the preposterous idea of exploring Tacoma today. Since the dawn of stinky-ass paper mills, Seattle has proven its superiority over the competing city. I scoffed, "Let’s not go to Tacoma!"

Steve Miller sings "I've been to Phoenix Arizona, all the way to Tacoma..." Yeah, now you know what I'm talking about. Tacoma is the city that Pee-Wee Herman lands in after he's driving on a dark, windy road and falls off a cliff.

Tacoma and Seattle have been striving for attention since the settlers stole the land from the natives. They both had accessible sea ports, but Seattle's won the popularity contest. Then T-Town built (plug nose here) paper mills. Ten minutes ago the paper mills were closed and the entire city was refurbished revealing brick buildings, original painted adds and views of Puget Sound. Today Tacomans are using art to attract tax-payers.

Tacoma has grown into an attractive, small town version of a big city. They have been planting art galleries, architecturally interesting bridges and mass transit systems. They have worked, and paid some architects to bring the city to the present, while preserving the historic brick buildings and the history.

We did indeed travel to Tacoma with the fulfilled intentions of observing the William Traver gallery and the Museum of Glass. At noon on a Thursday, there were virtually no people around and we shared the galleries with only old people and school kids.

Among others, we saw Dale Chihuly's work. www.chihuly.com He's a glass artist... big hair. Have you seen the ceiling of the Bellagio in LasVegas?

Our day didn't suck. We saw art and the city didn't stink.

Soccer Sucker

Oh my God. I just played an indoor soccer game and I suck! I am so out of shape that I single-handedly cost my team two goals. I'm the jerk who doesn't get back and defend. It's my fatal flaw and I'm so ashamed. This was my second game after my tonsils were removed last month. Back then I was healthy and hitting the gym regularly. I even scored 3 goals in one game! Now, I suck.

On a selfish, positive note, we lost by more than two which means that technically, I didn't cost us the game.

Gone are the high school days when I played on my school team, my select team and coached a recreational team. My muscles have deteriorated. During college I didn't play. I read lots of books. I was an English major, but I walked a lot. I lived between school and downtown Seattle and I'd walk to school and work. I began to fit into jeans! No more soccer thighs! It's a love-hate relationship when you can score from the 18-yard box on a free kick, but you can't wear a decent dress to the Homecoming dance.

At some point during college I reached athletic-jock-girl and pasty-prom-queen utopia when I finally fit into killer jeans.

Today though, I'd give your right arm to be either a jock or a pasty anything.

Impending Pain and Agony

Tomorrow I’m being sedated. My tonsils will be scraped from my throat like guts in a jack-o-lantern. The pain is bound to be great, so today I’m making a day of feeling sorry for myself. Soon I'll be drooling and speaking in tongues. Maybe I can use this as an excuse to tell the neighbors to stop putting their garbage cans out two days before the garbage man comes. They create havoc in suburbia and soon everyone on our block is scratching their heads wondering what day it is.

I quit my job four days ago. I’ve been spring cleaning; throwing accumulations of “stuff” away and saving all the size-4 clothing for my size-6 sister. Revenge is sweet.

I’m sipping green tea. It makes me feel sophisticated, even while wearing striped knee socks and a baby-tee.