Hold the Milk

If only the they taught women how to stop breast feeding the same way they taught how to breast feed, things might be better for me right now.

Naturally one would think, to stop the milk flow, you just stop feeding the kid! Right? Well, not necessarily, so far, in my experience. When I don't breast feed D or pump, I just Hoover Dam until the pain is so excruciating I can't move, literally. Raising my arms is painful and holding the baby is out of the question. Eventually, I just give in and pump for 5-10 minutes.

After perusing the Internet for advice and finding old wives and misinformation, I went directly to www.lalecheleague.org to find that I should just top off. They use their own terminology, but essentially, common sense holds true. The less the baby takes, the less milk is produced.

I compare full breasts to a full bladder. In both instances, the fullness is uncomfortable and annoying and the body becomes more irritated the longer the lack of relief persists.

So there I am at work at 6:15 pm (since I get into the office so late in the morning) and I'm shaking and becoming more frantic every minute. Sure, I could go use the "new mother's room" and "express breast milk" but I'm trying to stop the flow... it's a quite a conundrum.

Furthermore, once the milk dries up I have the added pleasure of yet another hormonal freak out! And then (hopefully the last physical craziness to do with my pregnancy) I will get to suffer through the first "cycle". Sure, every mother in the history of man has had to deal with this crap, so I feel bad whining, but it's no joke. It effing hurts. It's painful.

Stay away from me!!

Yes, I finally called a shrink.