Moving Right Along

Tuesday, June 16, 2009

Blond Joke

The Blond and the Barking Dog

A blond and her husband are lying in bed listening to the next door neighbor's dog.
It has been in the backyard barking for hours and hours.
The blond jumps up out of bed and says, "I've had enough of this" and she goes downstairs.
The blond finally comes back up to bed and her husband says "The dog is still barking, what have you been doing?"
The blond says, "I put the dog in our backyard, let's see how THEY like it!

My dad emailed this to me.
Thanks dad!

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Thursday, June 11, 2009

Twitter. What is Twitter? How does Twitter work?

Who knew Twitter could be so addicting?

Tweeting is Micro-Blogging
I was a good little blogger for a long time and then I was forced to learn to convey a message in less than 140 characters! Has blogging become obsolete? Now, I don't need to tell you everything that's going on in Wonderland, I can just tweet a few words, share the one main point and I'm off.

Twitter vs. Tweet
When I first learned to tweet, I made the mistake of calling my message a "Twitter". Twitter is the noun (thing), while Tweeting is the verb (action). I use Twitter to Tweet.

Make a Twitter Account
Go to http://www.twitter.com/ and create a user account. If you don't have a profile photo, just pick an icon. You can change your Twitter page background (theme) by clicking "Settings" then "Design".

Who Should I Follow?
I only have a few friends or people I "follow" on my personal account because I like to know my audience and (regardless of this blog) I don't like sharing too much personal info with strangers. I like to keep my tweets away from prying marketers, sex scams, and random people who collect people to follow.

My friends on Twitter are my friends in real life; people I see frequently or did at some point; people I know and love, but don't get to see too often; friends who don't Tweet often, but when they do it's funny and worth the wait.

Think of Twitter as a party. All your "followers" (friends) are there, but some are having conversations, others are in another room and if they're my friends, they're at the bar... more on this later.

You can also follow celebrities, which can be fun, but difficult because you never really know the context of their conversation and the replies of their followers. It's like listening to a one-sided conversation.

What are the Rules?

  • Don't Tweet anything you wouldn't say in a real conversation.
  • Don't be mean or negative because as we all know, mean people suck.
  • Remember that because you're sending a text message to multiple people, it can be difficult to convey humor and sometimes you just end up looking like an ass.
  • Don't write about every little thing in your day. People will get annoyed and stop following you.
  • Back to the Twitter party scenario; when you are writing to someone in particular (when you are speaking to someone at the party) you address them by typing @theirname "And then you write your message".

What do I Tweet?

As a new Twitter user, I didn't know what to write, or who would want to hear about something so generic that I would send it to multiple people at once. I stuck with writing funny quips and now I'm automatically wired to think in 140 characters. It's fun to tweet when I have something on my mind that I think others would think was funny. It's also a simple way to stay involved with friends, even without 2-way dialogue.

What is a Tweet?
Here are some of the Tweets I've sent in the last few months:
  • Operation Get @emelyn to drink 3 Malibu & Pineapple's at Matador ends with her falling asleep while brushing her teeth before bed.
  • Head cold, just in time for the weekend.
  • At Kindermusik: 12 adults and 11 toddlers under a small parachute. @brodyberg says "This is like living in New York."
  • Pet peeve: someone telling me they have to talk with me, but not telling me what it's about. Totally freaks me out.
  • Lunched with @cedric to experience and discuss Microsoft's new Commons, which may need a personal assistant service boutique. Hmm.
  • Awoken by dad's dogs on top of me: pug, maltipoo, german shepherd, yellow lab. Everyone wants LOVE!
  • Slow dancing with John Mayer in a burning room.
  • Trying to remember what compelled me to flash my guns tonight at the bar to @codingparadox @katy and @ctrsoccer
  • Congrats to @mmjohn for winning 3rd place at the woodinville art show!
Q & A

Q. What happens if I write a message longer than 140 characters?
A. I don't know. I think it just cuts the message off and your followers wonder wtf you were trying to say.

Q. What if I don't want someone to follow me?
A. Click on "your followers" then "remove"

Q. What is a device update?
A. A device, like your cell phone, can send and receive Tweets. When you sign up for your account, you can follow the prompts and receive tweets from certain friends/ followers on your phone.

Q. How do I send a tweet from my cell phone?
A. When you sign up with Twitter, the site will send a password to your cell phone. After you type the password into the website, you will text 40404 and it's the same as sending a text from your phone.

If you have any questions, ask a 23-year-old.

In Conclusion
Twitter is ideal for megalomaniacs because you just write about yourself, what you're doing and what's on your mind. If people don't want to hear it, they just don't listen. Happy Tweeting!

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Friday, May 22, 2009

6 concerns and solutions While Planning For and Visiting NYC with my 2-year-old

I recently travelled from Seattle to the east coast and Houston with my young daughter, Dahlia and both experiences were good. My husband used his frequent flier miles to get us first class or business class seating and as a result, the flight attendants were extra accommodating and our luggage was out first.

However, I was in planning overdrive last week while figuring out the logistics of a trip to New York for my brother’s graduation from Columbia University. Since I was so uptight and had so many concerns, I thought I’d list them, along with the way the situations was resolved, in the event that there are others out there who are traveling with a two-year-old this summer.

Concern: Personal DVD players on an airplane are the way to go and Dahlia’s DVDs were a mess. Some were too damaged to work, the cases were broken, she was tired of the movies and we didn't have many to begin with. I needed a solution for the flight.

Solution: I bought a CD case and a few new DVDs. I pulled all the other kid friendly DVDs from my home collection and put them all in her new DVD “book”. She was only allowed to pull one out at a time, and she watched and or listened to the DVDs with her little, pink headphones. Even if she only watched the first 20 minutes of each, she was happy looking through her colorful assortment and choosing the next show. I also had a few other new, tiny kid toys, books and snacks to hold her attention

Concern: What if she had a BM on the plane?

Solution: It’s inevitable! Everyone was seated for takeoff when I smelled something suspicious. Before the other passengers could smell it, I indicated to the attendant that we had a “situation”. The plane wasn't moving yet, but I had to be quick! To the tiny, airplane bathroom we went. I had Dahlia stand on the toilet seat and I changed her diaper while she was standing up, something I perfected on our flight to Houston. Parents, make the diaper into “underwear” and have your kid slide the diaper on, or rip the sides to take it off cleanly.
I then handed Dahlia to her daddy and he safely buckled her in. I flushed the evidence, bagged her dirty pants and like clockwork, we were set in no time.

Concern: What will Dahlia eat? Airplane food is not mother or toddler-approved.

Solution: We planned to have meals at the airports and snacks on the flight. By the time the in-flight meal was served, Dahlia wasn't even interested. During meals, Dahlia and I ate one at a time. They brought her meal first, I tried to feed it to her and then they replaced her tray with mine so I could eat.
I didn’t even attempt sippy cups since Dahlia likes to shake them and make a mess. She drank from bottles while we were in flight.
And first class travelers, beware of the warm chocolate chip cookie! I let Dahlia have one and it was a huge mess. It melted, smeared, crumbled, stained and was everywhere in 5 minutes. I had to bathe Dahlia with a wet nap and change her entire outfit. The flight attendant thought it was hilarious.

Concern: How the heck were we going to get Dahlia from point A to point B in a taxi? Did we have to carry her car seat all over town? How do New Yorkers do it? Should we take a subway?

Solution: There is no government regulation requiring car seats for children in taxis. This solved many of our logistical problems, but it didn't feel very safe to hold my darling sweet pea on my lap while our cab barreled down Park Ave at 50mph. I had to do it though and everything worked out fine.

Concern: I needed a babysitter three days in a row and wanted the same person each day. I didn't want Dahlia to have to get used to one perfect stranger, let alone three while we left her in a strange place with a strange person.

Solution: My brother valiantly tried to arrange sitters for us from Barnard Women’s College, but it didn't work out due to poor communication (I refuse to call people on the phone) and timing (one girl was available for only part of the time. Our last line of defense was the hotel babysitter service. We had used a hotel sitter service at Atlantis in the Bahamas and it worked out really well. We had the same sitter each evening.
In New York, we were staying at the Waldorf-Astoria. The concierge had difficulty communicating on the phone (doubly ironic) and so I arranged everything in person. Their sitting service was… $35 an hour! OMG! HFS! But… we were paying for convenience, we could have the same person each day, we were out of options and we were out of time.
Fortunately, the sitter was great! She was interacting with Dahlia before we even left our hotel room and we returned to find our daughter gleefully running down the hallway or watching a DVD upon our return.

Concern: We will be someplace in public and Dahlia will flip out. We will have no recourse and life will suck.

Solution: I suppose this is another inevitable rite of passage, but we got off easy this time. After we visited the Central Park Zoo, Dahlia took a two hour nap, during which I kicked my husband and dad out of the hotel room so they could check out the ladies in the hotel bar. (Fortunately for me, they were all over 50.)
Later that night, we all attempted dinner in the hotel restaurant and Dahlia, to put it lightly, was not interested. Sadly, my husband had to take her upstairs and get room service, but I was afforded a toddler-free dinner with my dad. My husband and I traded adult time and if you don’t bring a nanny along, it’s what you have to do.

Overall, our trip was really great. Dahlia took naps, she was able to tell us what she wanted, and we communicated to her what we were doing. Tomorrow at a family gathering, Dahlia will wear her new “I heart NY” T-shirt.

Congratulations Uncle Brody!

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Monday, April 27, 2009

Rest in Peace, Elaine

I don't know what the protocol is for writing about the death of a loved one on a blog, but I guess the way we communicate changes with the times and the forum doesn't make the information any less heartbreaking.

My step-mom, Elaine died suddenly on the morning of April 17th. She had a seizure caused by an infection in her brain. She was 64.

I feel Elaine's presence everywhere and I don't feel like she's gone, so I keep referring to her as if she's standing right next to me. I can hear her laugh, see her body language and continue to wonder what project she has up her sleeve. Elaine was always making, doing, buying, collecting, creating, selling and more. She could have single-handedly pulled us out of this economical slump.

Elaine was generous and we never left her antique shop or house empty handed. She always had her kids and grand kids in mind. She thought of other people constantly as evidenced by the many gifts she had laying around the house that were labeled for her friends, or were obviously for specific people. Yesterday, while we were in the midst of sorting her clothing to donate, Elaine's daughter and friend emerged from a closet with two gifts for her best friend, who was right there with us. We all watched as she opened the gifts and laughed at their obvious inside joke.

The six of us decided to honor Elaine by having our photo taken wearing her six fur coats. The coats had been passed down and accumulated though three lifetimes and there we were saying goodbye to Elaine, going through her stuff and embracing her joie de vivre, her sense of humor, her love of shopping and each other.

I love you Elaine.

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Thursday, April 23, 2009

April Showers Indeed

Dahlia's awesome mullet had to go sometime.

A little girl in D's Kindermusik class has a cute haircut and I was inspired. Last week, I gathered my sewing scissors and the necessary equipment... actually, all I had was a pair of scissors and a hairbrush that was totally unfit for the task at hand. I tossed my little girl in the bathtub and let her splash around for a while. When she was out of the tub, B distracted her and documented the "first haircut". I went for it and by some miracle, her new "do" turned out pretty cute.

On Saturday, we celebrated Easter at my dad and Elaine's house. It was a low key event. I scrambled two dozen eggs to serve 9 people and Elaine made a ton of great-smelling bacon. We had an egg hunt and I put D in a dress, rain coat and rain boots. She found 3 eggs and was a happy camper. We had a great time. Sadly, that was the last time we would ever see Elaine.

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Catching up- February and March

I'm perusing my photos and I just realized that I don't even have a folder for February which means that my camera battery was dead, or the memory was full and I was too busy to fix them.

From what I can remember, I mostly prepped for Maren and Garret's wedding in Seaside, Oregon. Helping plan the event was great and being there as a guest and coordinator made it extra special.

D got some good beach time and loved seeing Nanny so much.

Sadly, B was sick which made caring for D complicated. By the end of the weekend, we were all sick. I drained some Nyquil and slept while B drove us all safely home.

My grandpa Walt Hensel died in February. He was 89. Both of my grandfather's names are Walt, so when I was a kid, I assumed every one's grandpa had the same name. Rest in Peace Grandpa.
In March, Dahlia turned two years old!

Like last year, Emelyn came up from Houston and we had a joint birthday for both of them.

B's mom came in from Vegas, so we had a full house, a flurry of activity, home made cupcakes, remarkable weather and overall a fun, relaxed party.

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Back in the Saddle

Hey ya'll, Brody fixed my site!

Something about a server and a new server and sha-zam, I'm back in business. Except I can't post photos for some odd reason.

Let's see... not much has happened since January... except that:

I moved D into her new room. It's prettier and the windows are low enough so she can see out. There is more square footage, so even when she gets a twin bed, she'll still have room to play.

Superbowl- D was trying to open a bottle of beer with the bottle opener.

D started "soccer" which is just a class that teaches following directions and introduces soccer concepts, like using her feet to kick and not touching the ball with her hands. She is very fast and has already moved up a class. She kicks ass at Red Light Green Light. It's a parent-teacher class, so I get a little extra time on the turf.

I just cut her hair, but before that, her Mullet made for excellent pig tails.

Sadly, I can't really remember what else I did in January. That's why I have my blog to remind me.

Monday, March 09, 2009

Blogging to Nowhere

Dear frequent readers,

I haven't blogged because AIW is messed up. It's posting to feedburner, but not on my blog. It makes me sad. Writing now, feels like pointing in the dark, like chewing gum, a rocking chair...

Lots is going on. We have Emelyn in town and Grandma Jean in town because we celebrated D and Emelyn's 2nd and 27th? birthdays, respectively, We had our little shindig yesterday. The usual suspects were invited, the grandparents, nanny B and Kim and Leia came too.

Leia cracks me up. She is very vocal and talks up a storm. She shows Dahlia how to do things and is a birthday party expert. At age 2 1/2 Leia knows that first come the gifts, then the cake. Our party was more free-flowing, so we kind of did everything whenever.

Today Dahlia had a fan club at soccer. Nanny B came, and I brought Grandma Jean. Then Emmy and her shiny, new boyfriend came to watch too. There were only two toddlers on the field, so there wasn't much interactive play, but we got to watch D run around and PLAY!

Then Jean, Emmy, Patrick and I (Dahlia is implied) went to my fave coffee shop and pulled a trashed, sticky, dilapidated game of Sorry! off a shelf. We played as fast as possible and Patrick won. I got second. Jean turned out to be an intense player though. Emelyn was cool and strategic. Dahlia tapped the pieces on the board just like we did.

Two weekends ago, we went to Seaside, Oregon for Maren and Garret's wedding. Maren is Nanny B's daughter, who is my age. I helped plan the event and B, D and I went down to the ocean as guests and help out.

Sadly, B brought a nasty cold/flu home with him from Holland, so we all tried to stay away from each other so we didn't catch it. Dahlia was finishing up a cold when we went to Seaside, so she had some lingering effects which precluded her from joining most of the festivities. On the last night, the night of the wedding, I started feeling symptoms. I put myself on B's antibiotic a couple days ago and I am now functional as a human being. I don't have time to be sick! Had to self medicate.

Busy with The Business. I am tying up loose ends from jobs last month and I am looking to send out Happy Spring cards, or gifts, or something for current and potential clients. There are so many opportunities to connect with people, I don't have time to take advantage of them all.

I may be talking with a couple people soon, about working as personal assistants for me. I already have a few helpers when I need them for my own jobs, but these new people would be outside my geographical area. I can talk for days on this... call me if you want to strategerize.

It's lightly snowing this fine, March day. Our weather has been off the wall.

I'll try to get my Wonderland fixed.
Peace out.

Wednesday, January 28, 2009

Server Issues

Wondering if my blog will post.

Believe I need to be switched over to another server.

Monday, January 05, 2009

"Gossip Girl" Drinking Game

Gossip Girl is a teen drama about socialites on the Upper East Side. I received the DVD of the first season for Christmas and we have been watching a few episodes each night.

On New Year's Eve, we turned it into a drinking game. The games works best if you watch several episodes at once.

Gossip Girl Drinking Game Rules
  • A character looks at or uses a cell phone (one drink per scene)
  • Vanessa appears out of nowhere
  • A parent asks their child to lie on their behalf
  • Someone uses clothing or jewelery to pay another person off
  • PDA outside the home
  • Talking to "the help"
  • Chuck has sex with anyone
  • An Ivy league school is named
  • The Humphrey's have waffles
  • A buffet is served
  • Scene with a love triangle

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